We have spoken a lot about the fear and anxiety that comes from putting yourself out there; from actually taking a chance, giving it your all and possibly failing – and for everyone to see nonetheless! We have spoken about the humble gratitude that comes from receiving positive feedback. Just a small token letting us know that we are supported in our endeavors.
But what about the darker, more insidious emotions in the push for success? The jealousy, competitiveness, anger and inferiority/superiority complexes that bubble up. No, it’s not nearly as romantic, poetic or triumphant to admit to these painful feelings, but they are par for the course when trying to live a life with purpose (or how about just trying to live life period!).
We are huge fans of Grace Boney’s radio series, After the Jump. In one episode, she takes an honest look at jealousy and how you can turn it into motivation. It is definitely worth listening to here. But, in case you want the Cliff’s Notes version: If you can sit with the uncomfortable truth of your feelings, get past the resistance and the shame, the anger and the blame, your jealousy can be a powerful tool that lets you know quickly and quite viscerally the essentials of what you truly want in your life.
Instead of feeling threatened by the people you are jealous of, judging them, shit-talking their Instagram, making small attempts to cut them down to make your smallest self feel better, you can and should reach out to them, collaborate with them, or perhaps just silently thank them for helping you understand yourself a little bit better. Grace says, “All the people you’re jealous of can and probably should be the people you add to your network of friends, collaborators and coworkers.”
The lie of jealousy is so painful. It tells us that thing that we want, that they have, is the only thing standing between us and happiness AND that we will never ever be able to get it!
Take a chance and realize that the leap between who you are and what you want is not that far to jump. (Click to Tweet!)
So here’s to being jealous! It’s a good sign! Transcend it, and use it as fuel for your beautiful fire!