Sorry, I have a boyfriend


I recently stumbled across this article  by Alecia Lynn Eberhardt on my facebook newsfeed. Sometimes that time suck can provide a few gems! 

She discussed why women often resort to this cop-out statement and also why it is completely unacceptable: 

Male privilege is “I have a boyfriend” being the only thing that can actually stop someone from hitting on you because they respect another male-bodied person more than they respect your rejection/lack of interest.”

I know I am absolutely guilty of this. I find now that I am married, and quite visibly pregnant, I am often relieved at how obvious it is that I am “taken” in nightlife social situations. But reading this article made me pause at what the implications really are when we allow ourselves, friends and daughters to use this easy excuse.  We are saying that our lack of interest isn’t valid and that it is more important to be nice, sparing someone else’s feelings with an easy put down then learning the very important skill of strong boundarIEs and respecting ourselves and truths. There is a way to be a decent person and tell the truth at the same time. A skill that isn’t taught as readily or used as comfortably. Also, we are saying that men can’t handle the truth and are incapable of dealing with a small rejection. Everyone loses. 

While I don’t agree with everything in the article. (I don’t think it’s in anyones best interest to begin a lively debate with someone you are rejecting at a bar about why it is your right to reject them.)  It has changed how I will navigate those situations from now on. Although, it might be a long, long while before I am in that predicament again. 

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